So why exactly do you need boundaries in your relationships and life? Here are 5 reasons:
#1 – They give you a sense of self
When we don’t have boundaries in our lives it implies that we don’t have a solid sense of self. We will tend to take on other people’s thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs, and values rather than to have our own. This is commonly referred to as enmeshment.
When we are enmeshed with another person it means that there is no distinct boundary between you and another person. There is very little sense as to where one person ends and the other begins. One or both people will then have difficulty identifying their own unique individual experience and how it differs from the other person.
When this is present, it implies difficulty in differentiation from a parent in early childhood. This doesn’t mean that it is “good” or “bad”, as it is quite common for most people to have experienced it at least somewhat in their development.
Being enmeshed can be very stressful, draining, and overwhelming. Relationships can easily get “messy” and a person can feel like they have no control over themselves or anything in their lives. As a result, a person’s natural tendency would then be to try to control other people, which is codependent.
Learning to recognize our own internal experience and then setting boundaries in a way that honors our internal experience, helps us solidify our sense of self with the external world. It also helps create less stress and more balance in our relationships.
#2 – You are able to decide how you want to be treated by others
When we have boundaries we are able to effectively tell a bully that we will not tolerate their behavior. We are able to leave a relationship that isn’t serving us in what we know is in our highest good. When we have boundaries, we are able to enter into relationships that do support us in our own personal growth and healing.
#3 – You are able to make life decisions that serve and support you
When we have boundaries, we are able to say “no” to that job that is potentially wearing us out by working overtime for little pay. We are able to say “yes” to taking new career path without getting locked into feelings of guilt or “what other people will think”.
#4 – You are able to make choices that are better for your health and well-being
By having boundaries, we are also able to make better choices for our own health and well-being. We are able to say “no” to smoking that cigarette or having a glass of wine and, instead, say “yes” to having some green juice and going to the gym. We are more aware that we’re going to feel shitty after eating that brownie, so we’re able to turn away and eat something healthier.
#5 – You feel empowered
When set boundaries in our lives, we feel more connected with ourselves and more in control of our lives. We are able to live for ourselves, rather than through this desire to please other people. We are able to be in relationships that are healthy, balanced, and equal. And we have the ability to create a life for ourselves that we’ve always dreamed of.
Take action now!
How will learning to set boundaries in your life support you in creating a miraculous life for yourself? Share it in the comments below!
Jennifer is a self and relationship coach, writer, and teacher. She is the founder of JenniferTwardowski.com and the creator of Ignite Love from Within: Meditations to Create Relationships and a Life Filled with Love, click here for a free meditation from the album. Her mission is to help women create loving relationships with both others and themselves. Click here for her Free Self and Relationship Healing Meditation and weekly blog updates. To learn about how you can work with her, click here.
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